3 steps to take control of your overreactions
We all get triggered but how it shows up externally depends on your emotional maturity and coping mechanisms.Triggers are friends, they are just pointers to whatever is stopping you from progressing and expanding beyond the limited self.
Trigger is a knot in a time-space continuum of your journey called life. When an unresolved trauma lingers in your subconscious and a similar situation appears, the past version of you becomes alive and the stress-response emotions run you. So you basically travel back in time and shrink to the version of you that did not have healthy coping mechanisms — very likely your childhood. To take control over your behavior, to move from reacting to responding, one needs to learn how to clear the triggers.
If you are triggered, it means that somewhere in the linear past you had a strong emotional reaction to a situation and haven’t dealt with it properly. So when a similar situation appears, the trauma gets activated and asks you to revisit the root cause. It is basically an invitation to cope with the situation properly again, in the present moment when you are older and wiser. It is an invitation to clear and release that past version of you and transcend your limitations.
When you catch yourself getting triggered, getting pulled into an emotional overreaction, it is time to pause and take a few deep breaths to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Do this on your own, without dragging the other people into your drama. It is your responsibility to deal with YOUR trigger. The other person/situation is merely a messenger.
So the key to a happy life is to work WITH the triggers to release them one by one. How? Let's break it down into 3 steps:
STEP 1:
Go inward. Retreat, if possible, find a space where you can be alone (even a toilet can do)Acknowledge the trigger. What is showing up for you in that moment? What exactly is that emotion? Why does it bother you? Just take some alone time to sit with the trigger and get some answers from within.
At this point, just the mere understanding can allow you to clear the trauma / triggered state and no more steps are required.
STEP 2:
If no answers come neither the triggered state goes away, find a healthy way to release it. It depends on the emotion but in general you can deal with it through 3 different forms. Choose one or more that call you:
- Let it run through you: Do not suppress the emotion, allow it to show up physically. Scream, cry, kick the air,… whatever it asks you to do. Do it on your own and do not involve other person in your process until you deal with it.
- Journal it out: apply automatic writing and just trap that monkey mind. Do not raise your pen from the paper, the answers will eventually come out to the surface when you just pour your heart into your journal.
- Physically release: emotions get trapped in our physical bodies. Breathe in deeply a couple of times and tune into yourself. Mentally ask where is this trauma/emotion stored and feel into your body. Start tapping the part of the body where you feel that the energy is not flowing. Shake it out. Do jumping jacks. Do cleansing kriyas or breathwork. Let your body move it wants to, even if it looks awkward. That’s the point actually.
STEP 3:
Learn and integrate the new state of being. Take a mental note of what you released and thank that emotion for teaching you the thing that it taught you. Stop for a minute and imagine , in case the same triggering situation will appear, how you will handle it differently next time. OR if you’re fully ready to release it, imagine how your life will look like when you don’t have this trigger button anymore and how expansive your existence can be.
It takes regular practice to take control of your reactions and refine your ability to respond from a calm and centered space. The work lies in removing one trigger at a time untill you regain your ability to create room between you and the trigger in the real-time. And then, just like that, you will barely ever get triggered. You might notice them arising in your consciousness but at this point, the first step wills tart happening on its own and you’ll be emotionally stable and peaceful ❤️
To not just let you read this and forget it the second you close the tab, take a pause. Straighten your spine and take a couple of deep relaxing breaths as you slowly close your eyes. Place your hands at the heart and and tune into yourself. Ask yourself — what is the last time you got triggered? Then take that trigger and apply the 3 steps right away to practice transcending your overreactions. If you had the time to read till now, you can for sure find another 5 minutes to apply it 😉
You have all it takes to empower yourself to respond to life consciously, it is just a matter of practice. Let me know in the comments what triggers you the most and also how you found this practice.
